Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Writing exercise: A Blood- stained alibi (The most absurd alibis)



A blood-stained letter found posted on the fridge:


Hi Hon,

By this time you might be packing your things, and I can understand why, and don’t worry I don’t blame you but circumstance itself for what happened.

After the incident last night and after the sheer horror of seeing how you reacted so harshly with our large chef’s knife and cut off my better half.

I will just say here my side of the story in the hope that you’d listen, and hopefully after I have recuperated from this really numbing pain here in this stupid hospital, we will be given the chance to go on with our normal lives.

Hon, after you left the house at around 7:00 pm for your usual Saturday night grocery shopping, I just was lying on our sofa watching my favorite anime show. This went on for an hour, but I got bored and hot so I figured on turning on the air conditioner but the damned thing broke! Since no one was around, the crazy idea to just lie there completely naked came in to my head. When I got bored watching I changed channels but there were no sensible shows to watch, aside from Basic Instinct which is a new thing to watch (far apart from the gospel shows in channel 36 which I watch regularly.)

Suddenly Anna, our next door neighbor and a nursing student rang on the door. I got up and put on my boxers and answered her courteously. She asked me to help her with her assignment on some healthcare and birth control topics for her midterm exams due next week and knowing that I could very well help her with her problem that’s why I let her in.

The activities for the topics were very easy, I just explained to her about contraceptives and stuff (hence, the 3 condoms that are on top of the table which for the record, we never used.)

We were in the middle of this activity when I heard a sudden thud in the street outside. I checked the door and found a pair of handcuffs sitting on top of one of your rose pots (how it got there, I really don’t know. Perhaps our other neighbor, who’s a cop, might have dropped it there.)

I figured that he might look for it later, so I just put it on top of the living room table as well and got on with our activity with Anna.

How we ended up naked on the sofa when you came in, I’ll explain though this might come in a bit absurd. We were just about brushing things up with a recap when Anna suddenly blurted out jokingly if it would be possible for me to get naked and identify to her my hidden parts that she said a few women are able to see.

Man! I was dumbfounded, but in my playful sense got myself naked in her sight. She became red upon seeing ‘it’ and I identified to her some parts as well. After seeing her reaction, I jokingly opted that she get naked also, which to my surprise she willingly did! She asked me a few questions if her boobies were of a pleasurable sight and if her figure is fit. (Really no malice at all, that’s what we did.)

That’s the part when you came in and reacted so irrationally, but I cannot blame you after seeing such a sight, and oh one more thing before I end this letter as the pain from my wound is now unbearable, I bought for you last week, the book “How to Drive Your Lover Crazy in Bed” the book that you’ve been longing to read. I searched a couple of bookstores and luckily found one. You seem to have missed it when it’s sitting on top of the table all the time.

If you’ll be willing to listen please do me a favor and visit me here.

Loving you no less,

Honey

Monday, December 04, 2006

Writing excercise: I sold the empty cans (Tritina style)



To the junkyard, ill sell you empty cans
From that mountain of trash, I found you glittering
As I was scampering about in my neighbor’s backyard

There were loads of you lying hidden from my view in their backyard
I stared silently and scanned, searching for any metal and empty cans
Here and there, every heap I have to poke for anything that’s glittering

I have to fend off the others, who will scuttle at the sight of you glittering
My needs depend on you and anything I find useful in that backyard
Now ill pick you up and for food, ill sell you empty cans

...I sold the empty cans that were glittering in my neighbor’s backyard.

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thursday, November 16, 2006

corner shot with girlfriend Minmin and Bage at TJ's Ayala



Jasmin Uy

A Future with Robots (Article late this year)



Since my childhood years, I have always been fascinated with Robots. How I’d like to play my C3PO and R2D2 action figures and imagine them to be real - going about the crucial situations and conditions in our lives, whether it be at the battlefield acting as replacement for soldiers thereby minimizing lives lost in wars, in disasters such as fires and earthquakes, in medical emergencies acting as aide or replacement for doctors, as pets, and in our homes doing the daily chores (which I believe some of us hate).

Thanks to the advancement of 21st Century robotics, that dream seems to be slowly inching its way to reality.

Nowadays, there seems to be a growing trend towards developing more sophisticated robots that are not just mere “Toys” but can do just as much as their human counterparts or even better, robots that can do what might seem impossible for humans to do.

In this issue, we’ll take a peek at what is happening in the world of robotics, which has pit Governments, Independent Research facilities, private individuals, and Gadget companies in a blitz race to compete with one another to achieve the perfect machine, capable of making the lives of its human masters easier.

For starters, let’s have a look at the popular humanoid robots made by top Japanese firms Sony and Honda.

Qrio

Meet the playful Qrio
Sony Intelligence Dynamics Laboratories Inc. in their efforts to study how humans will react and accept partnership with robots, came up with a rather quite-small humanoid robot named Qrio. It is capable of walking uphill, singing, dancing, waving hello, wiggle its fingers and kick a ball with grace.

It has two digital cameras, one behind each eye, which helps it to map a room for future reference and recognize up to 10 different faces. This small robot can even converse in Japanese mind you!

Scientists tested Qrio by letting it participate in an experiment where it acted as playmate for toddlers at a nursery school in California.

At first the children where reluctant and did not know what to do with the robot but after a few hours of spending time together, accepted it as one of their own-even helping it get up when it falls, much to the excitement of its makers.

Scientists hoped that through this activity, they will be able to collect the necessary data that will help them alleviate errors in future experiments.

Asimo

Meet little wonder ASIMO and cousin ASIMO P3
From Honda Motor Co., comes a new small-lightweight humanoid robot named ASIMO (Short for Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility). This little astronaut, as commonly called because of its close resemblance, is capable of walking in a manner that is similar to a human being. Its hand and finger movements have also been increased, acting also similar to how a human would act!

This one is a product of Honda’s research of developing a robot that can be helpful to humans as well as providing practical use in society.

Earlier this month, did you know that for the first time in the history of the New York Stock Exchange, a robot rang the bell to start the trade! Yes believe it, it was ASIMO who rang the bell announcing the traditional start of trading, and not a famous personality or dignitary which has always been the usual custom.

These are but only a few of the advances made by today’s robotics, and the race still continues. Governments like the United States, Canada, Korea, and Japan are tapping on their military research facilities, and private firms to develop robots and unmanned vehicles that will someday replace their soldiers on the front lines, some armed and some for reconnaissance.

Someday in a not so distant future, robots will surely be working alongside us. Who knows maybe by then (God forbids, I still want to keep my job... giggles) we’ll have robots and computers in our offices that work by themselves without our aide.

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir


Monday, November 13, 2006

Writing Exercises: Minimalism - The Defense of the Weak


Pirates, munitions running out, sailed in retreat against stout hearts.
The battle raged, whilst no victor can be adjudged
Heaved mightily, to the last drop of blood
Weaklings, yet determined to defend their land
The townsfolk, manned the fortress guns
Fought against panic and fear
The fortress slowly crumbles
Hearts foul intent
Pirate cannons!
Boom!

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Horror Story in 500 Words: T'was the Night of Halloween


It was a dark and gloomy Tuesday night the hospital hallway was empty, with nurses and doctors busily at their stations attending to their obligations; not a single soul was in sight.

Then the dark green curtain of the emergency room rises to gust of the wind and reveal two bodies- one a police sergeant who met his fate at the hands of armed robbers who shot him three times to the head and that of a gymnast who broke his neck while doing cartwheels in a competition.

Both these men were alive just a few minutes ago when they were brought in, but now they are lifeless with eyes open as if they were trying to fend off an invisible force to prevent it from taking their souls.

Then along came the sound of familiar footsteps, for it is time for the nurses to make their rounds, and two proceeded immediately to the emergency room but were stunned after finding out of their sudden death.

Personnel and equipment were scrambled immediately in the hope to revive the two, with the defibrilator they exhausted all means, but their efforts were in vain for the patients are dead.

Just as everyone was about to cover the dead bodies with blankets, a nurse saw that the window of the room was open and that a bloodied scythe was lying on the floor.

She picks it up thinking that perhaps a visitor doing a trick or treat might have left it there, but as soon as she picked it, she saw visions, though blurry at first but the picture slowly cleared and she saw the two bodies just as if they were lying there but the scythe that she’s holding was carried by another being, with a shadow that’s as black as night and who’s face was hidden by a hood.

The being stabbed the two bodies, and in the nurse’s eyes she saw that which seemed to be their souls were wailing out from their once alive bodies into the being’s hand. Moans and laughter can be heard.

Suddenly, fear gripped the nurse as she now knows that what she is holding is the scythe of death himself, and as she was about to throw it out the window, everything flickered and went black.

Her companions, who saw what is happening, screamed and tug the scythe off her hands but it will not budge. Then the door slammed shut, and after a gust of wind, everything went silent. The door slowly opened to reveal several bodies of nurses and doctors who are now lying on the floor lifeless with eyes open, a death similar to the two patients.

The scythe was picked up from the floor by a black figure in a hood, who gazes out the window to see souls slowly marching towards a black whirlpool, the policeman and the gymnast are now beside him, and with an evil laugh they slowly vanish into thin air.

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir



Friday, October 27, 2006

Writing Exercise: The Integration of Beer drinking into the Educational Curricullum for High school


In a privilege speech at a Division School’s yearly forum with the DEPED secretary, Mr. Jovir Amatong, a high school P.E. instructor from Metropolitan Cebu, said:

Our beloved DEPED secretary Mr. Rolando Piñol, fellow high school teachers, friends, and colleagues, a pleasant good afternoon to you all.

I am very thankful for this opportunity that you have given me, so that I can speak to you and convey the idea that I share perhaps, along with more than a million teachers and parents across the country who finds it a necessity to add beer drinking as a part of our current educational curriculum.

Yes, you may go ahead and laugh at the absurdity of my idea, but let me tell you my point first before you add logic and judge my idea.

With the signs of the times and the ever changing values that our youngsters, the so called hope of the nation go through in life including the many “worldly” happiness, perhaps, it is time to teach them a lesson or two about drinking beer and being drunk.

Why don’t we, like let’s say allocate two hours, one hour for lecture and an hour more for field experience and call the new subject as “Drinking Arts and Body Ergonomics (DABE)” and incorporate Proper ways to drink beer, Proper ways to get drunk, the Best time and the Best beers to drink, Drunken self-management, and the whole lot of possibilities both advantageous and disadvantageous for them while they’re drinking.

With the incorporation of my idea into the curriculum, I tell you, we teachers and parents will be free from the burden of worries as our children go out at night with their friends, because they now know how to handle situations that may arise because of their drinking. Situations, that will lead them to the common good or evil of society.

I’m appealing to you now that with such a small amount of time consumed everyday by this subject, we’re giving only but small sacrifices to our pockets, all for the future of our youths who will someday rule the nation.

We will be giving them the opportunity at such an age, to experience the world and its vital component, one that we haven’t experienced back in our youth when drinking alcoholic beverages was considered evil and a mortal sin.

This way, they will be guided accordingly and therefore lessen the evils and wanton crimes that may surge because of their drinking.

With this in mind, I rest my case and leave all of this not only in the hands of our beloved secretary, but to all of us gathered here today to consider and contemplate for our future leaders.

Thank you very much



Thursday, October 26, 2006

Charter Change...Friend or Foe?


Perhaps... it's about time the country shifts to a new form of government, co'z the old one really sucks; and i think no harm will come in trying out this predicament. We have abided by the Presidencial form and all the blah-blahs that go with it for centuries, but so far poverty and corruption are the only two things which I think have grown.

With too much politics and too many politicians around (From Malacañang all the way to the lowest Barangay tanod mind you!). I'd suggest and im hoping (that is if i count), that the authorities and the authors of this ordeal may take into consideration a semi-Federal and Parliamentary form of government, and some factors that may count along with it.

Why Federal? So that the seat of power including the agencies will not stay stagnant at the nation's capital but will be divided among the provinces, thereby minimizing corruption.

* Funds and allocations will be distributed equally among provinces and cities, which has by the way, contributed well to the nation's cash register but were set aside because the priority has been given to the nation's capital alone or on influential provinces!

* With a Federalist state, individuals can participate more directly than in a unitary form of government. Power is de-centralized and so goes the distribution of wealth.

Why parliamentary? Simple. So that a bill or a draft will not be left at the mercy of flies but be debated upon or be approved immediately . My goodness! you will have to go thru a 200 plus congressmen and 12 senators just to get your ideas across! With parliamentary you only have few individuals to confer and worry about for ideas to be trashed or be approved.

* Experts agree that this form, can blend well with the Philippines or any nation that is ethnically, racially, ideologically divided. (we have more than 80 languages, 7100+ islands, and three racial blocks to fuzz about and indigenous groups as well)

Creation of an Electoral College. So that the selection of candidates will not be based by popularity alone, but will truly be screened for "Worth", and this way, the presidency and all vital branches of government will not be penetrated by rotten tomatoes!

" The election of a candidate for office is not voted upon directly, but by means of a party leadership"

Creation of a Dual Party System.
This way, candidates will be grouped accordingly and lessen confusion among people caused by losers, who usually end up making their own party specially if they're not in agreement with a party's ideals and aims; or for their personal interests, just so that they can stay and run for a seat in power.

These are but a few of my inputs, but i think these should get the ball rolling for the country.










Monday, October 16, 2006

Writing Exercise: Never Say Die, Tin Eagle (Fiction)



Capt. Lionel Diz, a fighter plane pilot and 1st Lt. Josephine Stephan his navigator, are well decorated fighters of the Philippine Air force. They flew several dangerous missions together and accomplished them with excellent results hence, several medals and lauds of fame have been accorded to them by their colleagues.

However, ironic as it might seem, this awesome duo used to be the sweetest of lovers whose relationship was shattered only by a wrong turn on the navigational control committed by Lionel, while they were having sex in mid- flight, on a rebel camp bombing run late last year.

Josephine was angered when her head hit the canopy of the plane as Lionel, too high and about to ejaculate accidentally stamped the control stick and their plane went haywire and spiraled downwards with the bomb still on board! Luckily, Josephine was quick enough to regain control of the stick, dropped the bomb and flew the plane out of harms way.

After that unforgettable mission, the couple stayed away from each other, and since then they have not talked about what happened. Josephine asked her superiors for a re-assignment and was given an assignment at Headquarters.

Lionel just stayed silent when asked by his friends and went on to finish more missions.

However one night, the sirens of the base beaconed suddenly with the loudspeakers ordering pilots and their navigators to scramble and be on their battle stations immediately!

The Base Commander called on the two to be back on their plane and briefed them on another dangerous mission.

“Rebels are once again on the prowl, and attacked La Carlota, a small town in Negros Occidental, you’re duty is to conduct close air support for the Marine brigade currently fighting the insurgents. Give them everything you’ve got, from machine guns to hellfire missiles. And lastly Capt. and 1st Lt., fire at will!” These were the last orders that the couple heard, before they scrambled up their plane to conduct the mission.

While they were on their way to the mission site, Lionel then started a conversation after nudging the controls and Josephine started to giggle. He then asked her straight of what happened between them and how their relationship turned sour. Josephine was startled by the question and started to cry, she pointed out to him that his mistake almost left them at the thin line of life and death and why didn’t he just asked apology after what happened between them last year.

“Im starting to think that you don’t care about me, all you wanted all along was my body” she said, teary eyed.

Lionel was stunned on why the thought never entered his mind; he looked for the words to say but stared blankly at Josephine sitting at the back. He found himself a few minutes later snuggled in with Josephine at the back, doing sex together with the plane set on auto pilot!

They arrived at the mission site, much to the awe of the marine brigade who has been wondering on what took them too long to arrive and conduct the bombing run.

Once again, the two made a remarkable job of finishing the rebels, and was on their way back to base when they continued their conversation; Lionel asked Josephine’s forgiveness for his stubborn mistake.

“The reason why I have stayed silent all this time was because I was ashamed of what happened between us, and you know me, I was tagged by my pride all along to not talk about it, not knowing that I have hurt you in the process. I thought that after what happened you don’t want me anymore, but you know that I cannot leave you joc (as he fondly calls her) I love you very much and I care for you”.

Josephine’s lips broke into a smile this time with tears of joy and she calmly placed a finger on her lips gesturing for him to hush and kissed him. Then without a moment’s notice, the two were at it again (doing sex) setting the plane on auto pilot.

As the plane was rounding on top of a valley to get to their base, Lionel caught a glimpse of a column of rebel convoys slowly inching their way in the valley below. Still nude, he caught the bomb controls and managed to drop some of the ordnance that they have left.

The column bellowed up a thick cloud of black smoke, the two though still nude, managed to climb back to their controls and nose the plane for a check on remaining rebels.

After seeing that there was nothing left but smoke of the rebel convoy, the two called on their radio to tell HQ what happened and told them also of their quick return to base.

Just below the ground without their knowledge, a rebel survivor was slowly inching his way to get his anti-aircraft RPG gun and lock on their plane…

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir

Monday, October 09, 2006

Writing Exercise: A Forest Walk (Poem)


As I walked past the big green trees;
guarding the skies above me like sentries in the night.

I touched the bark of the one;
I happened to have sat upon,
And stared in awe amazement about how something so great and full of life;
Battle hardened by the weather,
is just sitting so frail and lifeless in the pale-moonlight.

The wind blowed a hefty sum of limp-hot air that lonely summer night,
and I continued my way.
When all of a sudden, a familiar brightness and a warm gust caught my attention,
Then everything behind me was a wall of flame, so huge to mention.

A raging forest fire was fast coming my way! And I couldn’t do anything but run;
Trapped in the brightness, running but tempted like a moth drawn to the flame;
I ran with curiosity for danger; amazed by the warm yellow-orange illuminated wreck

Then a rod, as black as charcoal with a burning coat, suddenly toppled and claim the life off me.

Then everything went back to black; full of nightly creatures,
So dead silent was the night…

Friday, September 29, 2006

Writing Exercise: The Blind Minstrel (Prose)


Friday morning March 22nd. I died a broken hearted man while talking to a constable sent over to investigate a crime, unimaginable in my youth and disability that I will and be able to commit.

To tell the story was all that I could do and to him I had to narrate the events as they unfold, teary eyed by the darkness that surrounds me and how nobody believes me;

Constable, I have nothing to hide, I swear by my good family’s name what really happened yesterday, and all will be told.

Whilst the sun began its journey across the cloudless sky,
I started my day carrying my trusty guitar,
and took a walk to my favorite spot in the gutter beneath the bridge downtown.

I sing merry songs to those souls who in my blinded state,
I can only hear. There were voices muttering gladness for the songs they’ve heard, others insult, and some who just don’t care;
then sounds of dropped pennies can be heard from my little can.

I pause every now and then,
said my thanks to my loyal patrons who found time to listen to my squabbles,
picked them up quickly and dropped them inside my pocket and walked on.

I don’t beg to get my day’s rations constable, I have my pride!
It was by lunchtime, that I heard my stomach grumble urging me to go and get my grub.

I crawled and walked,
I even stumbled a few yards just to touch and smell the creatures that abound me,
guided by their voices to an abandoned alley.

Then off from the gutter I stumbled on top of something;
letting my hand touch the warm being that I have stepped upon,
then a sudden realization whipped my senses, for here lies a woman I can tell!
all nude and lifeless in a place I can call a rats den.

I dropped my guitar and crawled to a tenement nearby;
to the souls who lived in that place I asked for help praying that life could still be preserved on that helpless woman.

I left without notice,
after making sure that the voices has helped her;
for in my hunger I think I myself cannot last as well.

But somehow I got the notion that the people that helped her were following me!
Their voices grew louder and louder; forcefully picked me up,
battered me, and pushed me up a vehicle.

It was later that I found out that those same people that I called upon
has accused me of robbery, murder, and rape;
I dragged a woman; a business woman to be exact from uptown that was passing by the alley they say;
and robbed her of her belongings at gun point,
and in my discontentment I raped her then shot her three times to the head!
thus the blood on the pavement...

Heard every word I said constable?

I told them the story as I’m telling this to you;
but they only laughed at me; beat me up again;
my execution they want swift.

In my beaten state, though I know I won’t live to tell;
but to you I pray, restore my dignity for I’m just a minstrel,
a blind one, but cheerful to be exact;
trapped in a tragedy of the unjust.

I’m sorry but I think I have to close my eyes;
in my bruises, I have to take a moment’s rest…

Jasmin Uy









Monday, September 25, 2006

Writing Exercise: How I became Hemophobic (A Vampire tells all)


The year is 2010, Castle of Doom, Vladista. Breaking free from this slab of darkness that surrounds me in this smelly- pit for a coffin, I have awaken once again to wreak havoc on the weak, and feast on the blood of the fallen.

As I step out into the window’s edge of my castle. I noticed that the humble village where I once ruled years ago (but was stopped by that pesky vampire hunter and was cursed to sleep decades passed) has now been replaced by rectangular mountain- like structures rising high into the moonlit sky. What once was a figurative landscape seem like shadows, along with the smell of foul air which I can't make out what.

As my adrenalin rushes screaming for blood, I decided to go hunting for hapless victims disguised in the form of a bat. To and fro I look when I came upon a small room atop one of the rectangular structures.

I was shocked at the sight of the dissidents- a family inside which to me looked like corpses about to crumble, but meekly speaking with each other. I managed to hang upon the wall to listen to their weak blabbering.

I found out that in this new era, a great plague and a global war had passed and all the people (the few who survived) are dying from hunger and disease. Sadly, I took a last look upon their mange-mangled faces and decided to fly out their window.

I got back to my castle’s tower where I sat thinking that I should fight the urge to gulp human blood and devour other sources instead, but somehow my pride asked me this question: “How can I, Count Hovir, father of the undead and the most feared character in the underworld be thinking of this option?”

Then off I flew again to the horizon in the dead of the night to devour blood, getting weaker by the minute as I think I have traveled way very far from Vladista- when I found it! An animal silhouette which looked to me like a wild boar sitting just under the tree I’m resting on.

As I was about to pounce on my target, I suddenly heard women’s voices fast approaching my location. Then it occurred to me that this is my lucky night for I can have as much blood as I want, a feast to be exact and if Im lucky enough, I can mate with all these women too! Just think of all the blood and bodies I can have. I decided to wait a while longer in my vampire form waiting to pounce.

Just as soon as I saw human shadows, I came down from the tree in my most terrifying look but instead of great fright, (I saw that the ladies’ look were like corpses with glowing red eyes similar to that family which I left in the rectangular structure back in Vladista) the ladies were looking at me with mouths watering and blabbering something like their lucky this time of the night too, as they were looking for food!

They started to grab and pin me to the ground, but I managed to get on my feet and took flight right away.

I flew, this time in haste and with caution for every house and village I passed by, people would stare at me and grab like I’m part of their food chain, and in my great sadness I returned to my castle and coffin, vowing to go to sleep for another century and never drink blood again, for in this new time and era, people are even more hungry than vampires.

Jasmin Uy



Friday, September 22, 2006

Writing exercise- Presidentiable 1 or 2? (The argument I had with my consience during the past national polls)


Me: With the sudden shift of events after a lot of EDSA revolutions, plus the downfall of the economy not only in our country I think it would be better if we let a capable and intelligent president hold the reigns of the country. Of the two, I think P1 seems to be the right person fit for the job with her credentials than of P2 which finished only elementary and gained popularity only as an actor!

Me2: Hahaha, don’t be a fool! Ok ok I admit that P1 may have good credits to her name, but man she’s a hypocrite and a power grabber!

If you’d go to the streets right now you can tell that P2 has the people’s hearts. Even if she’ll win she only has the name but how can she run the country well when nobody, not even the poor is supporting her. I think P2 is more fit, in this sense!.

Me: Hahaha, don’t make me laugh. I think he’s an idiot - he’s an actor for god’s sake, that’s why he has everybody’s heart, but I admit though that he has run his production company well even without proper education. Perhaps, it was somebody who ran it, "under the saya” hahaha.

Me2: See, you do admit that he had managed to run his company well, imagine what good he could do if he’s top honcho of the country. And your P1 including her husband are rumored to be political underground players where they frequently let the three G’s (goons, guns, and gold) do the talking for them, and the most dangerous part there is that we don’t have knowledge of their activities because P1 and her cohorts have masked their activities well enough! I’d rather stick with my simple actor whose mind is not yet corrupted by Philippine politics.

Me: Grrrr! Do you believe what you’re saying? That’s the most dangerous part! Picture it this way, he has a simple mind (like his friend) he will easily be corrupted and used by the people around him for their own personal ends because he will be too dumb to see what he’s doing. By the way, where’s his friend now? Locked up in prison! I’d rather gamble with placing P1, because I care about my country’s welfare than to have somebody like P2, who I fear will worsen the already-worse situation f our country.

Me2: Ok, you have your way, I’ll have mine. All I know is that you’re making a big mistake if you put her in power.

Me: Hahahaha, your problem is that I’m calling all the shots around here. You’re nothing but my conscience, too bad I’m controlling the hand that will cast the vote tsk tsk I pity you. Having said this, I cast down my vote in her favor, and went on with my day as usual.

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir




¾

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Writing exercise- An Application Letter



September 21, 2006



Dr. Rupert Bean PhD.
Director
Aerospace Technology Department
National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
St. Andrews Base, Pasadena, California



Dear Sir,

Greetings!

I have heard from a reliable source coming from your department Dr. Albert ‘Teborcio’ Einstein, whom I believe is one of your assistants and happen to be a close friend of mine since college, that you are in dire need of a specialist in the fields of Quantum physics and Aerodynamics who will work closely with you and your staff in doing classified projects and experiments aimed for the United States Air force.

It is in this matter that I would like to present myself, Jovir Amatong PhD. DOA for the job that your good office is offering.

I am currently residing at Suite 69, Timesquare, New York, 26 years of age and a Doctorate degree holder in the fields of Aero-analytical Phase Engineering, Aerodynamics, Astronomy, Computer Engineering, Dressmaking, Tire- Vulcanizing, Cooking, Journalism, and Physical Education (To name a few), from Indian Aerospace University in San Jose, California.

Some of my credentials include working as Director for Bell Technologies (Which has coordinated with your office for the Apollo Space Program back in 1993), the creation of the steering system for the Moon rover, the invention of the Banana barbeque pill- food for astronauts, and the co-creation of the highly revered ‘Project Hornet’- a United States government commissioned project where we experimented with Rocket Aerodynamics and the effects of space travel on astronauts thru the use of paper models and planes. Unfortunately, the project was cut short by the government because of the lack of available funds and monitoring but still we have gained ample knowledge from the project that is now in use the world over.

Though I may not be the foremost expert in Quantum physics, but it is in my good intention to let you know that what I may lack in that field, I can easily make up since I am also a Computer Engineer and I have invented a software program which can aid me in that field. I can also brew up great tasting coffee, and I can cook exquisite mouth-watering dishes perfect for you and your personnel.

I have attached along with this letter, my comprehensive resume and assessments from my colleagues from different aerospace institutions around the world.

I am available anytime for an interview at your convenience.

I hope that I have met your requirements with regards to the nature of your work and the projects at hand.


Respectfully Yours,

Jovir Amatong

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

On Television...Your World (An ode to Francine Prieto)




Every morning when I wake up, you are there.

Last day’s worries melting away with just a look at your face.

Then I would shrug my morning blues off, come to work again to earn my days truffles;
Though full of wanderings, necessities and pressure;

Still I’d push on through, knowing that all of this will be gone; with just a look and a smile from you.

Everywhere I go, anywhere I look, off nooks and crannies I’d get glimpses of you…and then head shaking with a smile, id go back again to face my day thru.

As the day ends, I like to savor that refreshing feeling to go by the ocean at night and brew up a drink or two;

And think brightly of things to come, another day ahead, and still get the chance to see you again.

Yes, to me you are the most alluring; not in naked ways but your whole being...
Yet I can't find the reasons and I don’t know why. It’s certainly not obsession, God I hope not!

But it seems my day’s complete with the sight of you alone.

Staring at your picture, hearing your voice… You never tell me I’m a loser, and perhaps you’d never will, trapped in a mushy romantic fantasy…maybe write a song or two…and keep on looking still.

Perhaps it’s a vague rendition, off from my mind’s imagination, But what if by sheer circumstance or an act of fate, you’d step right out off your world and unto mine?

Naahh…Looking on still, my lips crack into a smile. It will never happen, in certainty it never will!

You have your world and I have mine to explore and way separate lives to run. In an artist’s canvass, you will always and can only be etched;

I’ll just watch you from afar on that colored tube; address myself a welcome, a cherished welcome ...another chance to see you on television... your world. (JA)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Albums




Albums of the hopefulls...

Monday, September 04, 2006

Axistrizero



Designs (print, web, and apparel) many of which i find to be very cool are made by Arnold, a friend of mine.

you might want to check out his hardwares at: www.axistrizero.com

you'll never be dissapointed!
Your Japanese Name Is...

Hibiki Konoe

Hoob

Marketing Peeps

Vagabond

Friday, September 01, 2006

The Light by the Window



One rain pelted- cloudy day
I saw a light by the window
From a house I passed by;

When I came out for a day’s walk
To be with myself, and find time to engross in all my troubles,
And let time fly away on the park nearby;

The light shone so bright, more than I ever did see
Not the ordinary setting for a house,
A feature built for you and me

I stared, and curiously took a peek,
On the light that used to be small before my eyes but now glowing even more!

Standing motionless by the window I looked on still,
The light was dancing like yellow dessert fires on a moonlit night
Capturing me with sheer delight!

Then a feeling of warmth, somehow strange to fathom
Filled myself and engulfed me with intonation
Surprisingly all my troubles that haunted me, all have gone away
My mind’s at peace with no more worries to care...

I took the light in my arms carefully, and gladly ran all the way home
The light I put in a pedestal to be always by my side, in the dark to guide my way

And as a constant reminder I said to myself, that the light I took,
I must always kindle and take good care;

For the moment it's left out and fades…I will never be here...

Jasmin Uy

Message in a Bottle

The Isle of Rofus



With the progress of civilization and the passing of father time, also came the ills of humanity. For years, nations fought wars; societies became enslaved by prostitution, hunger, twisted religion, oppression, gambling, adultery, and theft.

Since time immemorial, these vile deeds has plagued humanity, and as these acts have gotten worse thru the decades, the elders of the various religions from many nations around the world came together and brought up a plan to preach the belief amongst their subjects of the ‘Isle of Rofus’, a promised land and nirvana where one can go to in the afterlife, provided that the path of purity and goodness has been followed. They thought up stories and tales so as to really make the people believe in the legend.

Hence, tales about the legendary isle was spread throughout the world. People from all walks of life were told of the good news.

For many decades, the belief of the isle, lingered on the minds of the people that they straightened their chaotic minds and took on the path of goodness. During these years men laid dormant and peaceful all throughout. Then came the dawn of the new era, as men foiled their minds and made new toys, evil in their hearts that lay dormant thru the years was awakened once again. Men slowly deviated from the ways of good and were enslaved once again by the toys they created and worship more than their gods.

Slowly, the belief in the Isle and the path of goodness was eradicated from the minds of humanity, and they took on all their evil ways once again. Now they have ‘guns’ and ‘money’, just two of the powerful toys that were made to make their lives easier but are slowly encroaching them with the ways of evil. And the Isle is no more…



Friday, August 25, 2006

The Queen and the Dairyman



Once upon a time in faraway village, there lived a humble dairyman by the name of Gino Carpio. Gino was satisfied with his daily routine of attending his cows- from milking and feeding them early in the morning, to the delivery of the bottles of milk he obtained from them, to the village folk in the valley below his farm.

One of the patrons who loved his milk very much is Melody, the queen of the village. Every morning she would tell one of her trusted maids to go down to the village gate and bring back to her news if Gino has passed by riding on his dairy wagon. She will then put on her disguise- a peasant’s dress and a red hood so that nobody will recognize her and stand in wait at the village gate to get his milk.

Gino, unaware of the identity of his patron, would just go about his everyday business and will sometimes stop to chat with Melody after serving her his milk.

Weeks passed by and the two became very close friends, so close that the village folk who usually see them chatting in the village plaza often mistake them as lovers spending their time together!

However, trouble was looming down on Melody’s village, for the greedy king of a nearby village is secretly mounting up his soldiers to attack and destroy Melody’s. Melody and her subjects are unaware of the king’s intention and is lying defenseless of the brewing attack.

It was during one of those morning trips of Gino, when he passed by the village gate that he happened to see three suspicious looking men carrying trays of duck eggs heading to the direction of the palace. This stirred his interest so he hastily followed one man who made a stop by the village inn.

He waited a few hours until he saw the man come out and went in an alley. In the man’s hurry, an egg fell from the tray he was carrying and rolled in the gutter.

Gino noticed that when the egg fell, it contained no yolk but a piece of paper! He grabbed the piece of paper and read the message that is written and he was surprised when he learned that the message was for the greedy king’s awaiting soldiers and that they are ordered to attack Melody’s village at dawn the next day!

Gino hurriedly proceeded to the village gate for he doesn’t want to miss delivering his bottles to melody, who by this time was sitting by the village gate and was wondering what happened to her friend that made him miss out with his delivery.

Gino explained what happened and what he saw to melody and asked her if she could go to the queen’s palace and inform the queen of the dreadful news.

Melody upon hearing the news, quickly revealed her true self to Gino and ordered that she be taken to the palace immediately so that she can order the general of her army to meet all the village folk and tell them what to do.

All the people gathered around the village plaza, and the town crier was ordered to make a rant of the queen’s order for all the women and children to be evacuated immediately to the mountains behind the village.

At dawn the next day, as the greedy king’s army attacked the village they were surprised to learn that not a soul was in sight and all the houses are empty!

As the greedy king’s soldiers sat in surprise, suddenly Gino as ubiquitous with his wits and tools as always, suddenly appeared along with the villagers and pounced on the surprised army.

At daybreak, Gino and Melody’s army was winning the battle and by noontime they were already celebrating in victory. Melody thanked Gino for his gallantry and they married right away. The two lived happily ever after with their 36 sons and daughters.

View: http://www.yuwie.com/jovir

New sport made entirely for highland extreme waves enthusiasts



In the Mountain province of Bunhok, the townsfolk are well contented with their simple lives. They go about their daily duties of tending the rice paddies and terraces that is their primary source of food and income. The place is nothing but a picture of harmony, with the occasional disturbance created by a screaming farmer brave enough to do a sport that looks like wakeboarding but with his carabao as a makeshift speed boat here and there.

Looks awkward doesn’t it? Yes it’s nothing but a new sport invented by Gino Carpio, the current National extreme waves wakeboard champion, the sport he called as “Skii-Bao”

To go ‘Ski-baoing’ one must have water skis (used traditionally in wakeboarding), a ‘Quitis’ or rocket firecracker, and a carabao to strap in and hold on to. To start the action one must have to securely strap the reigns to the carabao, put the firecracker thru its butt and light it, add in an insane mind and away you’ll go!

In an interview, the champ said that he invented this sport as he wants the farmers of the highlands to enjoy the feel of the extreme waves of the ocean- something they cannot do so, due to their location which is at the uppermost tip of Southern Cebu, and approximately 69 kilometers and 8 hours away from the metropolitan!

Already, this new sport is currently a hit with the farmers who’s making waves but at their carabao’s expense. Enthusiasts hope that this new sport will be recognized as a potential sport in the country.

Spectators on the other hand is widely supporting the competition and also looks forward, (mouth-watering) to get their pieces off the meat of the carabao skis.

A Ski-bao athlete (Shown in the picture) demonstrate the steps to start the action.
His carabao died 45 minutes later due to an incarcerated wound in its butt.







Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Letter of Complaint-from hell!



The Manager
Durabille- trysikille Appliance Center
346, Kalye Pakaging, Cebu City


Dear Sir,

I wrote to you this letter as I wish to bring up to you some complaints that I have concerning the television unit “United-Devil eye wide screen” model no: 220 that I bought last week (August 4, 2006) from your store.

When I tested viewing it for the first time, I found out that I can only watch 3 channels on VHF (as opposed to your 101 channel reception on VHF), and when I tuned it to MTV channel 29 which is on UHF, the unit emitted a wailing sound sort of like those emitted by possessed persons!

The next day, when I turned it on again (bearing with just three channels) this time the power knob fell off so I had to poke the power knob hole with a toothpick to turn the damned unit on.

The problem did not stop there, because 5 minutes later the screen blinked 3 times and suddenly exploded, knocking me out of the sofa where I was sitting!

The fire that followed because of the explosion was so immense that it burned half of my house-from the living room up to the kitchen!

Luckily, some of my neighbors saw what happened and called up the fire department for help, while some brave hearts stormed in on my house and brought me to the nearest hospital.

While I’m writing this letter to you, I’m still in the hospital ward recuperating from the 3rd degree burns I received on my face, all because of this god dammed television set of yours!

I demand a compensation of P1, 000,000 for the damage that your television set has caused me and my property, or face a lawsuit by my lawyer.

If you wish to contact me for clarification on my complaint, you can see me at ward 5110i, San Bruno General Hospital, English B. Rodriguez St., Cebu City anytime until Friday this week.

I hope that my complaint will not go unnoticed by your office, as my patience is slowly running out.

Bernard Alimatok Jr.

683, Barangay Cambinokut, Cebu City