Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Writing exercise: A Blood- stained alibi (The most absurd alibis)

A blood-stained letter found posted on the fridge:

Hi Hon,

By this time you might be packing your things, and I can understand why, and don’t worry I don’t blame you but circumstance itself for what happened.

After the incident last night and after the sheer horror of seeing how you reacted so harshly with our large chef’s knife and cut off my better half.

I will just say here my side of the story in the hope that you’d listen, and hopefully after I have recuperated from this really numbing pain here in this stupid hospital, we will be given the chance to go on with our normal lives.

Hon, after you left the house at around 7:00 pm for your usual Saturday night grocery shopping, I just was lying on our sofa watching my favorite anime show. This went on for an hour, but I got bored and hot so I figured on turning on the air conditioner but the damned thing broke! Since no one was around, the crazy idea to just lie there completely naked came in to my head. When I got bored watching I changed channels but there were no sensible shows to watch, aside from Basic Instinct which is a new thing to watch (far apart from the gospel shows in channel 36 which I watch regularly.)

Suddenly Anna, our next door neighbor and a nursing student rang on the door. I got up and put on my boxers and answered her courteously. She asked me to help her with her assignment on some healthcare and birth control topics for her midterm exams due next week and knowing that I could very well help her with her problem that’s why I let her in.

The activities for the topics were very easy, I just explained to her about contraceptives and stuff (hence, the 3 condoms that are on top of the table which for the record, we never used.)

We were in the middle of this activity when I heard a sudden thud in the street outside. I checked the door and found a pair of handcuffs sitting on top of one of your rose pots (how it got there, I really don’t know. Perhaps our other neighbor, who’s a cop, might have dropped it there.)

I figured that he might look for it later, so I just put it on top of the living room table as well and got on with our activity with Anna.

How we ended up naked on the sofa when you came in, I’ll explain though this might come in a bit absurd. We were just about brushing things up with a recap when Anna suddenly blurted out jokingly if it would be possible for me to get naked and identify to her my hidden parts that she said a few women are able to see.

Man! I was dumbfounded, but in my playful sense got myself naked in her sight. She became red upon seeing ‘it’ and I identified to her some parts as well. After seeing her reaction, I jokingly opted that she get naked also, which to my surprise she willingly did! She asked me a few questions if her boobies were of a pleasurable sight and if her figure is fit. (Really no malice at all, that’s what we did.)

That’s the part when you came in and reacted so irrationally, but I cannot blame you after seeing such a sight, and oh one more thing before I end this letter as the pain from my wound is now unbearable, I bought for you last week, the book “How to Drive Your Lover Crazy in Bed” the book that you’ve been longing to read. I searched a couple of bookstores and luckily found one. You seem to have missed it when it’s sitting on top of the table all the time.

If you’ll be willing to listen please do me a favor and visit me here.

Loving you no less,


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